Monday, July 13, 2009

The Gay Girls Guide To Being Gay and Christian

Christainity/Catholicism and Homosexuality – Mutually exclusive or a misinterpretation of the bible?

In Britain alone, there are at least as many homosexuals as there are people attending mass on Sundays, but the appalling truth is that many Catholics are forced to lapse from their religion due to the Church’s total rejection of their sexuality. While homosexuality is not a matter of personal choice, and religion is, the Catholic Church’s view that homosexuality is “an objective disorder” with a “tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil” often leads to a choice between God and self.

Mainly stemming from Leviticus 18:22, which states, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind. It is abomination.” This passage is the most significant verse relating to homosexuality which has been taken out of context throughout the centuries and used as a tool to promote homophobia. How can one be a practising Catholic and homosexual? Does one have to give in order for the other to survive? Or can both be of equal importance in a person’s life?

“I have been a practising Catholic all my life,” commented Claire. “I go to Mass every Sunday, and attend confession regularly, but my homosexuality is between God and myself. I believe that the Church’s stance is wrong, a misinterpretation of the Bible which is outdated. But I know that my priest wouldn’t be so understanding, so I choose to confess that part of my life directly to God, where I know He recognises the diversity of His creations. It’s hard to be Catholic and gay or lesbian, but the strength of sexuality and religion cannot cancel each other out. To give up one would be to give up half of myself, and I know God understands that this is the way He made me. The whole guilt thing which surrounds sex in the Catholic Church affects me just as much as it does any other practising Catholic, but I only enter into sexual relations once I am in a serious and committed relationship. With no church willing to marry me and my partner, this is the best I can do.”

The story of Sodom and Gomorrah is also often quoted but it is not a condemnation of homosexual relationships as we would understand them today. It is, in truth, a condemnation of inhospitality. Ezekiel 16:49-50, Jeremiah 23:14, Wisdom 19:14, Ecclesiastes 16:8 and Luke 10:10-12 all refer back to the sin of Sodom being inhospitality, pride and greed. Homosexuality is not mentioned.

Jesus himself taught about the importance of love and commitment in relationships, never mentioning homosexuality - “What matters is purity of heart, justice, honesty, compassion and peace-making.” Just as Jesus’ love for and ministry to outcasts and foreigners broke down barriers in His time, so lesbians and gays are challenging today’s churches to remove their culture-bound barriers and prejudices.

The majority of references throughout the bible which have been quoted as God’s detestation of homosexuals are, in fact, a warning to mankind not to idolise anyone or anything other than God. As mankind was made in God’s own image, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind” was more a warning not to violate God’s image than anything else. “If we abandon ourselves to godless lust and fail to respect the image of God in ourselves and others, we choose self-destruction. If we worship and serve our creator instead of the creature, and experience life abundant, we can relate with each other as whole human beings – sexually, emotionally and spiritually.” (Rev. Dan Geslin)

Acceptance of yourself is a necessary part of being a Catholic. Understand that an institution such as a church can be mistaken and never allow anyone to force his or her beliefs onto you. If you can do this, then make your peace with God, for He is the only one you should ever have to answer to.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Don't let homophobia like this stand

Found this on a website and it seems, unfortunately, that this type of extreme view is on the increase:

"While I do believe it is child abuse in the extreme for Lesbians and Homosexuals to be allowed to Foster or Adopt a child, this case involves a more narrow issue; that is, can Gays and Lesbians enter into private contracts to engage in activity that is contrary to existing law?

Why is that important to me? I believe that homosexuals cannot meet the minimum requirements for marriage and therefore are ineligible, as couples, to legally establish themselves as parents for children not of their womb or seed. Thus, if a Lesbian has a child and marries or cohabits with another woman, only the woman that bore the child should be allowed under law to have any parental rights over that child. If a gay man sires a child, his male partner should never have any lawful rights as a parent for that child."

We need to stand up and be heard, challenge views like these before they are allowed to infect a new generation. For evil to succeed, all that is required is that good people do nothing folks. Make your voice heard.

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

Abusive relationships are something we all know about. We hear about them on the news, we watch with disgust as one unfolds before us during our favourite soap, we even discuss them at the local bar, but they almost always involve physical violence of some degree. The startling fact is that more abusive relationships involve forms of aggression other than physical.

Threats, isolation, monopolising your perceptions, degradation and enforcing trivial demands all constitute abuse. If you take a closer look at your relationship, at what has really been making you feel so unhappy for so long, you may come to realise that it is far from healthy. Abusers wield power like an axe, bringing it down on their partners if that supremacy is threatened in any way. Breaking a person’s spirit makes them more compliant. Compliancy equals total control. Total control is abuse.

Sometimes abusive relationships are easy to identify; other times the abuse may take subtle forms. Nikki, 26, spent five years with her partner Linda. “She never hit me,” commented Nikki, “but she didn’t have to. I had to report on everything I did, everyone I spoke to, everywhere I went. If I was five minutes late from the shops I had to explain in detail what had kept me, and even then I was never sure if she believed me. She stopped me seeing all of my gay friends over time, often inventing reasons why they were no good for me to be around. She even made my family so uncomfortable when they visited by making a scene or deafening us with her silence that they eventually stopped calling round.

“I loved her, I thought she wanted me to be happy. I thought when she was buying me things, it was to show me how much she cared, but it wasn’t. She was dictating what I wore, what I listened to, what I had in the house. She controlled the money, I had to ask if I wanted something. She even pushed me to leave my job, claiming she was earning enough for the both of us and we could spend more time together. It got to the point where we were arguing so much when I was leaving to go to work that I had was late almost every day. Added to that were the phone calls every hour, telling me how much she missed me. She was actually checking up to see where I was. I got fired. She got her way. When things were good, they were fantastic. But when they were bad, I felt worthless and useless. Who was going to want me. That’s why I stayed so long. She really made me believe that she loved me, and that no one else would”

In general, abusive relationships have a serious power imbalance, with the abuser controlling or attempting to control most aspects of life. Healthy relationships share responsibility and decision-making tasks and reflect respect for all the people in the relationship, including children.

If the abuser is unwilling to own up to their behaviour and seek help the wise course of action is to remove yourself totally from the situation. This is painful, but is generally safer and ultimately better for both parties than allowing the cycle of abuse to continue. Be prepared for the abuse to increase after you leave - stepping out of the cycle enrages the abuser, as it shatters their illusion of control. Detachment with love is difficult, but it is the best solution if your partner is unwilling seek help.

In a healthy relationship you should never feel pressure to do anything you don’t want to. You should never be embarrassed by your partner’s behaviour or silenced by a mere glance. There should be balance, both parties having their say, and both people being respected in their opinions. If this is lacking, then the relationship is dangerous. Leaving is the hardest thing you can do; but it is also the most sensible.

Friday, July 10, 2009

The complete top 20 ranking of lesbian heroines - seriously?

According to poll results (it didn't say who conducted the poll), which asked 2,600 lesbians of all ages, Angelina Jolie is the number one lesbian heroine.

Seriously? OK, I know she's hot, but she lives with a man, and, despite her bisexual tendencies, she is definitely on the straight side of the spectrum. I know she doesn't have to be a lesbian to be a lesbian heroine, but it would be nice.

This was the list (comments are mine):
The complete top 20 ranking of lesbian heroines is as follows:

1. Angelina Jolie

2. Madonna

(Only gay as a publicity stunt which should actually push her down the list, not up it)

3. Pink

4. Martina Navratilova

Our first out lesbian in the list, one of the greatest achievers of the modern age. I think she should top this list.

5. Ellen DeGeneres

Heroine does seem a bit strong don't you think?

6. Kylie Minogue

As much as I love Kylie, has this descended into a gay man's list?

7. Lady Gaga

8. Annie Lennox

Has repeatedly stated that she is offended that people keep insisting she is a lesbian. How does that make her a heroine?

9. Beyoncé

Come on

10. Germaine Greer

11. Liza Minnelli

To gay men maybe

12. Gwen Stefani

13. Cher

The gay man thing again, she didn't exactly handle her daughter's coming out and then subsequent decision to have gender reassignment surgery well, in fact, if rumours are correct, she freaked out. A lot.

14. Janet Jackson

WTF

15. Tori Amos

16. Britney Spears
Are you serious? A Madonna-wannabe in her 'lesbian' actions.

17. Cyndi Lauper

18. Scarlet Johansson

Please people, get some perspective

19. Sarah Jessica Parker

Jesus, what people did you poll?

20. Dolly Parton

Don't you think it's strange that a top 20 Lesbian Heroine list contains only 2 out lesbians, and at least 2 homophobes? Is this a sad reflection of the number of gay women out there for others to look to for inspiration? What about the Poet Laureate, the first female and gay? Surely there's a better Top 20 out there...

Who's missing? Let me know your thoughts.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Play Fantasy Football with the Gay Girls Guide

Time to get your football heads on and start picking your Fantasy Football team. Why play alone, go to http://www.premierleague.com, sign up if you're new or log in with your details from last season, go to the 'league' section and use this code:

15298-8219

to join the Gay Girls Guide League.

Let the battle commence...

Sunday, July 5, 2009

She Said What Episode 8 - Lesbian Chat Show

now for some shameless advertising:


Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Gay Girls Guide Presents Breathe

Just feeling your skin brush against mine was all that started it. Surely you felt too, the electricity that pulsed from me to you, surging through me the first time we touched. You had to have felt it, it had come from you.

I wanted so much to reach out to you, just to feel my fingertips softly touch your face but something in me stopped. Too soon. Or not soon enough. The hesitation was there even though it was the only thing in the world that I wanted to do.

And breathe.

You turned your face away from mine, no idea what you were looking at or if your eyes were even open. All I could see was you. I stepped closer, into you where you could feel the heat of my body behind you. You didn't move and that was all I needed. Gently I moved your hair away from your neck, my fingers brushing your skin again but this time I knew you felt it. As my arm moved around your waist you lean back in to me, so close that my lips found themselves on your neck, barely touching. I could hear your breathing deepen, mine did too, and while I lost myself in that you turned to face me. Your eyes looked into mine, seeing right through to my soul, everything I had wide open for you to see. I was certain you could see all that I ever was or could be.. I felt so naked. It felt so right.

Then your lips were on mine, lightly, simply exchanging breaths until the deepest one pulled you onto me. That kiss, that first kiss was more than it could ever have been in my mind. Every inch of my body awoke and danced.

I wanted to savour every moment, every inch but you pulled me into you and I could not restrain. A moan from deep within you and I knew that you were mine.

Passion instead of lust, longing instead of want. Was that only me?

Still your lips were on mine, our tongues teasing each other, promises of what was to come.

How we found ourselves by the bed I have no idea, where our clothes had gone I didn't care. Your skin on mine was all I knew, all I wanted to know.

You lay on the bed, and whatever connected us pulled me on top of you. It was almost more than I could bare, feeling your nakedness with mine, the softness of your body beneath me.

Still kissing you, I began to trace my hand along your side, down to your thigh and as I did you pulled your leg up, opening for my body to slip between you. I gently pushed your legs apart and moved myself down, my tongue leaving yours, running over your breasts, your nipple, your stomach. Down to where your wetness waited.

A rush of nervousness came over me. For so long I had dreamed about what you would feel like, how you would taste, the thought alone of feeling your warmth on my face had made me wet more times than I could remember.

Then tip of my tongue lightly touched your clit and the gasp from you rushed throughout my body. Teasing you was as hard for me as it was for you to bare. I wanted to feel your clit in my mouth, hear you as I gently sucked, still teasing it with my tongue. But I restrained, I had waited this long a little longer would only serve to make it that much sweeter. So I lightly ran my tongue from your clit, down to where you were open and wet and let it explore, pushing deeper into you, feeling your hips rise to meet each stroke. I needed to be inside you.

My finger traced where my tongue had just been, only entering you as deeply as my tongue had done, while my tongue retraced its path back to where you needed it to be. Slowly, I moved into you, each caress of my finger matched by my tongue. One finger, then two, now three, you opened to take as much of me as you could, losing yourself in the twisting and turning of my fingers inside you. I could feel you tighten around me as your clit throbbed in my mouth, your breathing faster still, deeper, moans from somewhere inside you I'd never touched before.

I could feel your hands on the back of my head, pulling at my hair, your hips raised even more still as you pulled me into you as far as I could go. You were close, I could feel it. I could hear it in your voice, lost to the sounds coming through you but from where you did not know. Nor did you care.

"Don't stop" you whispered "Please." I was never going to stop. Not now, not after all this time, waiting to be this way with you, waiting for you to feel you part of me as i dived deeply into you. And then you were coming, your whole body contracting around me, thrusting, gasping, pulsing, throbbing, your rhythm mine, my pleasure yours.

And breathe.

Slowly.

Deeply.

Simply breathe.

You said 'Let me touch you' but there was no need. My cunt ached to feel you inside it. It had to be now, and then it was. Your fingers moved into me slowly, manipulating me until I welcomed you inside, pulling you deeper. Deeper. Faster. More.

Still it was not enough. I wanted all of you inside of me, but more than that I needed all of me in you. Our bodies one. Your mouth devoured mine, your hunger palpable, my desire consuming every part of me.

Then your mouth was on my neck, my breast, my nipple in your mouth, your tongue twisting it around the way your fingers moved inside me.

Down you kissed, each time your lips reconnected with my skin electricity jolted throughout me.

Don't stop…

And you didn't.

The touch of your tongue between my legs exploded throughout my body, no longer did I feel in control of myself, completely at your mercy.

Slowly, you dived into me, exploring my depths with your tongue and your fingers. My excitement flowed as you teased and tormented me to the edge of ecstasy. Coiling my mind around your tongue I could feel nothing else in the world apart from you between my legs. You were in me and on me, through me and around me, everything was you. Deeper. Deeper. Breaths drawn from my very soul resonated from my body as you pushed and then pulled me over the edge.

And breathe.

Breathe. Something so simple to do, so hard to catch.

Breathe.

You kissed your way back up my body till you were on my lips, devouring me, your hunger for more clear. Gently I ran my nails along your sides until my hands cupped your face. Such softness underneath my fingertips, such sweetness to touch.

I could wait no more, I had to be inside you again, more this time. I reached my hand between your legs to find you wetter still than when I had left you.

With ease I slid into you, harder this time, deeper, more, intensity rising with your hips. You straddled me and thrusted onto my hand, yet still our lips never parted. Even through your gasps, I kept mine on yours, inside and on you, as much as I could.

And then they were off me, biting my neck, my shoulder, searching for something to get a hold of. More inside you now, I felt like you would take all of me into you. With every stroke you bit me harder. With every bite in you more.

Your hips dictated the rhythm, hard and fast. Inside you I twisted my hand, back and forth, hitting that spot, that spot, waiting for the moment I could whisper to you 'let go'.

And then it came, I felt it start to reverberate from your very core. You held it back, afraid of its strength, unsure of its vastness.

I whispered to "Let go," but still you held on, grinding, pulsing, thrusting, wanting. With the deepest stroke, I whispered again "Let go". This time you could do nothing else. So deep where your moans that they were almost silent, heard only with my body, vibrating through my skin. As you released, your nails dug into my back, holding on to let go. It rose from your soul, bursting forth in an explosion of rapture, the cry from your mouth echoed by your wetness below.

Your head fell on to my shoulder, your body spent. Gently I withdrew from within you and as I lay you on the bed what little strength you had pulled me onto you. Tightly you held me, your face buried in my chest. I had to look into your eyes, to see your soul as you had seen mine but I did not want you to move. You must have heard my thoughts, because as I grasped you tighter you pulled back. Your eyes looked up into mine and you placed a soft kiss on my lips before putting your head back on my chest.

"Thank you" was all that was heard through the silence in the room.